


The Ineffable Plan

by KaytheJay



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, The Ineffable Plan (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:42:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25050091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytheJay/pseuds/KaytheJay
Summary: God has a plan. Everything must stick to that plan, including angels and demons. She has a special plan for Aziraphale and Crowley.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	The Ineffable Plan

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as an idea that Aziraphale and Crowley had fallen in love in Heaven but forgot each other as soon as Crowley fell. Somehow, this turned into God rooting for Aziraphale and Crowley and all this shit about the ineffable plan and such.

“Aziraphale, you’re being ridiculous,” Cassiel said. “I’m not going to fall.” Aziraphale sighed. He knew that Cassiel was probably right. He hadn’t done anything wrong so far, and he definitely wasn’t planning on changing that. Aziraphale, however, couldn’t help but worry. The war had already taken a number of Cassiel’s friends. He knew that Cassiel was a genuinely good angel if a little mischievous sometimes. 

“Just be careful,” Aziraphale said. “I can’t afford to lose you.” Cassiel nodded.

“I know,” Cassiel responded. “I will be careful. I always am. I’m not going to do anything.” Cassiel grabbed Aziraphale’s hand. “Never.” He brought Aziraphale’s hand to his lips and kissed it. “I love you, angel.” 

“Forever and ever,” Aziraphale replied. 

***

Cassiel stared into the face of God, unsure of how he’d gotten there to begin with. He’d been being careful. He hadn’t said or done  _ anything _ that could even compare to some of the things that other angels had done to fall. He scanned the crowd, trying to find the face of a familiar angel, but Aziraphale wasn’t there. Cassiel couldn’t help but wonder why. Everyone else was there. Everyone always went to see the next angel fall. God forced them all to be there.  _ Has Aziraphale fallen?  _ Cassiel thought with alarm.  _ No, no, that’s impossible, but where is he?  _

He looked down and realized for the first time that his wrists were bound. This  _ really _ wasn’t good. Angels didn’t get tied up and put in front of an audience like this and then just  _ not _ fall. God did not tolerate bad angels. But Cassiel hadn’t even done anything. Unbelievable. He’d been so careful. So careful that he would not have to leave Aziraphale. Perhaps he had always been meant to be a demon and God was just disappointed in him. She refused to have a plan not go her way. The Great Plan was, well, ineffable. 

***

Aziraphale slowly woke up/ He had no idea where he was or what he’d done in order to get there. His eyes burned at the sight of the room. He covered his face with his arm.  _ Pain _ . That was new. 

“Hello, Aziraphale,” A voice came. “Did you rest alright?”  _ Rest?  _ Angels don’t  _ rest _ . Aziraphale tried to form words but nothing came out of his mouth. “Don’t worry about speaking right now. You’re not going to be able to.” Aziraphale sighed and slowly moved his arm away from his face, bracing for the lights. The angel beside him seemed young. Younger than most angels. It was clear that she knew it too. She smiled when she saw Aziraphale’s eyes. “My name is Michael,” She said. “I’m going to take care of you while you recover.” 

What had  _ happened? _

***

He felt himself get kicked. He moaned.

“Get up, demon,” came a nasty voice. “You did the crime, now you’ve fallen. Now get  _ up _ .” He didn’t remember  _ falling _ . The last thing he remembered was staring into the face of God. He was kicked again. “I said get up.”He was yanked onto his feet. He opened his eyes for the first time. The room was dark, but he didn’t have to strain to see. This surprised him. He didn’t know that angels could also see in the dark. They yanked on his arm and started hauling him away. 

They brought him to a room. There was a sort of throne at the head of it, though it was unlike any throne he’d ever seen. The demon shoved him to the ground and marched straight to the throne and sat down.

“Welcome to hell, Crawley,” the demon on the throne said. They knew that Crawley hadn’t actually done anything to be there, and therefore picked a humiliating name for him.  _ Crawley _ . He had  _ a lot  _ to prove.

Beelzebub, however, was sure that Crawley wouldn’t be capable. He hadn’t even been bad enough to fall properly in the first place. He’d only fallen because God needed him to be a demon for her plans to work. Beelzebub hated it. They didn’t want any bootlicker in their domain, but they had no choice.

***

“You can’t just put Aziraphale and Crawley in the same place!” Gabriel said. “What if they recognize each other?”

“They won’t,” God said without looking up. “That was the point of erasing their memories. 

“But you said the commitment they have for each other-”

“The word is  _ love _ . And yes, I did say it was quite powerful.” God only shrugged. “But love won’t survive having your memory wiped.” She turned over a piece of paper and read it. Everything was going exactly to plan, exactly how she liked it. In just a few days, the Garden of Eden would be ready for angels (and demons) to start inhabiting to help along the first human that she was working on. She had picked Aziraphale because he was submissive. She could very easily bend him to her own will. Especially now that she’d gotten that pesky Cassiel away from him.

It had always been the plan to send Aziraphale and Cassiel to Earth together. What she hadn’t planned was Cassiel being as much trouble as he was. He’d always done his job perfectly, but he was also getting in the way of Aziraphale being perfectly submissive. And she needed him to be submissive if he was going to do her work on Earth. It was why she hadn’t picked Gabriel. Gabriel asked too many questions. 

“But what if this love thing reblooms between them?” Gabriel asked, proving her point.

“I will not have any more questions, Gabriel. Unless you would like to join the Fallen?” Gabriel shook his head and walked out of Her office, allowing her to work.

***

When Aziraphale had been told that he was being sent to Earth, he’d thought it would be more exciting than it was. He’d thought that he’d be working against demons directly. Instead, he was in charge of guarding a wall. A  _ wall _ . He couldn’t believe it. Was God just trying to get him out of the way? There were much better ways to get around that. 

He was so quick to give away his sword because he wanted to feel like he was doing  _ something _ . Besides, he’d already grown quite attached to the humans and couldn’t stand the idea of them being killed so early on in their lives. Besides, they were already expecting their first baby.  _ The  _ first baby. Aziraphale couldn’t very well just let them leave the garden without means of protecting themselves. 

So now all he had to do was stand here at this wall for all of eternity. Something he was, of course, happy to do. Even if it was going to cost him everything. He didn’t like being the angel of the Eastern Gate. It was so  _ boring _ . And he would never see anyone again. It wasn’t like humans themselves would be fighting to get back after God so promptly threw them out. One can only imagine Aziraphale’s surprise when a  _ demon _ of all creatures sauntered up beside him.

“Oh hello, um,” Aziraphale said. Something about the demon felt familiar, but he wasn’t sure what. It made sense though, they had once been in Heaven together. Perhaps they had run into each other before. 

“Crawley,” The demon provided, unsure of why he gave the angel his name. A demon could get in a lot of trouble for speaking to an angel. Something told him that he didn’t have to worry about this particular angel going off and ratting him out. Besides, he’d begun to miss the old Heaven. He wasn’t sure why, but he did. This random angel was sure to be able to feel his fill. 

“What do you want?” The angel asked, trying to be upset because he’d been disrupted by a demon. In reality, he was just happy to have some company.

“Must a demon  _ want  _ something?” Crawley asked. Aziraphale sighed. 

“I suppose not,” he said. “But I am suspicious of demons who don’t want anything.” This much was only partly true. Aziraphale was suspicious of  _ all  _ demons, regardless of if they were upfront about their intentions or not. They had, after all, had to have done something quite terrible in order to have fallen.

“Then you may sit and be suspicious all you want. I’m not going to do anything.” The pair stood in silence for a few minutes. Aziraphale would have thought he’d be excited for conversation, but he couldn’t think of anything to say. Crawley didn’t know how to speak to angels anymore. He wasn’t supposed to anyway. 

“That was quite the temptation if I do say so myself,” Crawley said. t\The angel looked over to him and Crawley smiled.

“How cruel of you!” Aziraphale said. “God built this garden specifically for them and you go off and  _ ruin _ it for them.” Aziraphale shook his head. “Demons. Always ruin everything.”

“That’s the job description,” Crawley said. “Better than watching a wall.” Aziraphale rolled his eyes.

“I will have you know that my job had upmost importance,” Aziraphale said, trying to convince himself. Crawley laughed. 

“Lotta good that did you. Look where you’ve landed.” Aziraphale refused to admit that he’d known Crawley was in the garden but didn’t say anything because God had  _ wanted  _ him in the garden. He wouldn’t let the demon have the satisfaction of knowing that what he’d done had all been a part of the Plan. Aziraphale didn’t understand it quite himself, but he wasn’t one to question God. 

Crawley hissed at the sound of thunder. Aziraphale rolled his eyes. He sheltered himself with his wings to prevent from getting wet. Crawley glared at the sky as water began pouring down. Aziraphale sighed before also sheltering the demon from the rain.

***

“They know,” Gabriel said. “They must well, with the way Crawley approached Aziraphale as he did.” God rolled her eyes. She was getting quite fed up with Gabriel and his desire to know the Plan. 

“They know nothing,” God said nonchalantly. She was in the middle of creating the plan for the fourteenth century. She was going to make it a good one, but Gabriel had gone off and soiled her mood. So much for that. 

“But they’re meeting up and-”

“So rush Aziraphale to his next assignment. It is almost time for the end of the garden anyway.” She put her pen down and looked at Gabriel. “Do you think I am stupid?”

“No of course not but-”

“But nothing, dismissed,” God said.

“But-” God glared at Gabriel with such intensity that only She could. She was tired of Gabriel’s nonsense. 

***

“Oh come on, Aziraphale,” Crowley said teasingly. “We’re friends. It’s fine. Live a little.” Aziraphale shook his head. 

“I am not about to go against Heaven’s orders.” Crowley rolled his eyes. 

“Talking to  _ me _ is against Heaven’s orders. Besides, you don’t have to stick with Heaven  _ exactly _ . You’re allowed to do things between miracles that they ask you for.”

“Says you,” Aziraphale said. “You’re a  _ demon _ . Obviously you don’t believe with sticking with Heaven. Frivolous miracles are very much so against the rules.” Aziraphale huffed and readjusted his clothes. “I am not about to become a demon myself over a crepe.” 

“You won’t,” Crawley said. “You have to do something bigger to fall. Maybe kill something.” 

“That is not funny!” Aziraphale exclaimed as he was forced to recall the time he accidentally sent the wrong man off to die because Crowley had told him that the man had been the one Crowley’d tempted. In reality, Crowley’d had nothing to do with the situation at all. He just knew the man was destined to put a lot of good into the world, and he couldn’t allow that. 

“Oh come on, it was a little funny,” Crowley said.

“No, it wasn’t. Human life is a gift.” Crowley rolled his eyes. Of course the angel would feel that way. 

“You’re not going to fall because you miracle a crepe. Watch this.” Crowley miracled himself a bottle of wine. He held it out for Aziraphale. 

“That hardly proves anything, you’ve already fallen.” 

“Just do it.” 

“No.” 

Up in Heaven, God was watching the exchange with curiosity. She knew exactly why Aziraphale was convinced that any minor rule break would lead to a fall. His body still remembered Cassiel. Even though she’d wiped both Aziraphale’s and Crowley’s memories of each other, they never truly forgot. It was impossible. Cassiel and Aziraphale had loved each other in Heaven, as they loved each other now.

But the Plan depended on him doing this frivolous miracle. Once Aziraphale learned that nothing would come of this, he would do more. Eventually, he would (hopefully) disobey heaven completely. He needed to do this first, however. One small miracle. 

Crowley popped his bottle open and began drinking directly from it. He offered it to Aziraphale who turned it down, claiming that angels don’t drink. God couldn’t help but laugh at that. She herself had invented the stuff and made sure it would be drinkable. Of course her angels were allowed to drink it. 

“It is one miracle,” Crowley said. “One little treat for yourself.” 

“Right now, the only treat I want is for you to shut up!” A sheet of paper appeared on God’s desk, alerting her of a miracle that she didn’t order. She picked it up and read it. 

Aziraphale had used a miracle to keep Crowley quiet for a few minutes. It hadn’t been the miracle she’d been expecting, but she was certainly getting enjoyment out of it. It was also a miracle that she didn’t order, which meant that the Plan was still ok. 

“Well done, Aziraphale,” God said, turning her attention elsewhere. 

In typical Aziraphale fashion, he spent the next few weeks terrified of being reprimanded. Everyone who spoke to him terrified him. He was waiting for his fall. He soon realized that, as Crowley had promised, he wasn’t going to fall. 

It would be another year before Aziraphale would perform another miracle on his own terms. It would take another fifty years before Aziraphale was doing frivolous miracles regularly enough that almost should have warranted an intervention. But God wanted to let Aziraphale have his miracles. For now, he needed them. It was a way that Aziraphale could “disobey” Heaven without actually doing anything wrong. She needed him to build his confidence. 

It wouldn’t be until 1793 during the French Revolution that She’d reprimand him at all. That was only because he had gotten to doing too many. She’d had to slightly change the Plan because of all of Aziraphale’s miracles. She didn’t want him to lose confidence, however, so she’d had Gabriel write him a note rather than having any sort of actual punishment. He needed to eventually build himself to disobey Heaven completely.

She needed Crowley and Aziraphale to form their own side in order for this to work. But she couldn’t just give them their memories back. It was far too late to do that. Besides, Crowley was a demon now. Even if she allowed Aziraphale to remember Cassiel, he would still have to relearn how to trust him anyway. It as better to start them both on a blank slate. 

She wouldn’t check on the pair again until eleven years before it was supposed to happen. She was happy to find that the pair were very much in love, though she knew neither of them had admitted their feelings openly. Aziraphale wasn’t quite ready to dismiss Heaven like that. She knew he was getting close. He would, of course, do as she needed him to. She knew that with utmost confidence. It was now a waiting game of when he would do it.

In the nick of time, Aziraphale was able to dismiss Heaven almost completely (with the help of the Metatron) and do exactly what he needed to in order to save the world. 

Of course, God could have made it impossible to conceive the Antichrist in the first place, but where is the fun in that? 

**Author's Note:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon


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